Reality of Recovery

After some recent events, I felt that it was necessary to write something raw and authentic about the truths of my recovery from my eating disorder. Social media can be extremely deceiving, showing the positives out of someone’s life. I am guilty of this myself, only posting the highs of being in recovery. I am about to get real with y'all, it is anything short of a complete turn around from how I used to be. Yes, I said it, I still struggle and have found myself engaging in behaviors on a rare occurrence. Earlier this week, I became extremely stressed, struggling to figure out my value in this stage of life. I noticed a switch the last couple weeks in my attitude with handling my anxiety, depression, and body image. I became nit picky with those around me and extremely on edge. My job has been a challenge, as I continue to grow in relationship with the Lord. I have found myself comparing to my co workers thinking I wasn't worthy of this position. They are incredibly wise and I am still a child in my faith. On top of that, my comeback in running has been halted once again with a respiratory infection I am battling. This caused me to have a night of lapse with my eating disorder. I felt so ashamed of myself for giving back into these behaviors, I just wanted to hide it and continue to promote how great my life is now that I am in recovery. I would post countless times of how God has changed my life for the better. Christ has been an incredible foundation, helping me become the person I always have wanted to be. Well guess what, I am a human and sometimes fall short. I know.... shocker right?

I wanted to get this off my chest so that people can see that life isn't as glamorous as I may portray on social media. I find myself, putting on this image of a recovery warrior and how I am this person enjoying life stress free. That is not the case at all. I have times where I struggle to the point of contemplating going back to my old ways. Don't let these times be the determinate of how you want the rest of your life to play out from that day forward. I like to look at the big picture and see how far I have come from two years ago. I wouldn't be in this position going public with some of my battles. Just take each day as it comes and trust in the Lord with all your heart. Remember he continually puts mountains your way as a test, so be prepared to bring a shovel to dig past the hurt.

Keep fighting my friends <3

Sammy George